As summer approaches, many parents of children with Selective Mutism (SM) begin to wonder how to maintain progress without the familiar routines and structure of the school year. While this can be a challenge, summer also presents a unique opportunity: a chance to practice bravery across settings.
With consistency and intention, you can continue helping your child build comfort and confidence in using their voice. Dr. Steven Kurtz, the developer of PCIT-SM (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy for Selective Mutism), encourages families to adopt an “exposure lifestyle.”
What Is an “Exposure Lifestyle”?
An exposure lifestyle is an approach that weaves exposure practice into the fabric of daily life. It helps children face their fears gradually—whether that’s speaking to a peer, answering a question, or ordering food at a restaurant—through frequent, low-pressure opportunities to practice.
Rather than waiting for therapy sessions, parents can use everyday moments to:
- Model bravery
- Encourage small steps toward speaking
- Offer specific, labeled praise for effort (e.g., “I love how you used your brave voice to practice ordering with me!”)
The goal isn’t to “fix” fear, but to help children learn that they can face challenges, and that anxiety doesn’t have to stop them from doing things that are important.
How to Practice an Exposure Lifestyle This Summer
Think of summer as a time to build exposure practice into your normal routines. Small wins—like answering a question at the park or practicing greetings with a neighbor—build momentum and resilience over time.
Here’s how to get started:
- Identify your child’s speaking goals. Think about specific situations that cause anxiety.
- Break goals into small steps. If ordering food is hard, start by practicing the script at home or having your child whisper to you what they want in front of the waiter or waitress.
- Practice regularly. Look for daily chances to practice speaking in low-stakes settings and continuously practice small steps towards the ultimate goal.
- Celebrate progress. Use labeled praise to reinforce bravery and effort, not just outcomes.
Remember: Progress with SM isn’t always linear, and fears may not disappear entirely—but with repetition and support, your child’s confidence can grow.
Preparing for the New School Year
As summer winds down, it’s a good idea to start preparing your child and their school for a smoother transition.
Consider writing a short letter to your child’s principal and teachers that includes:
- A brief explanation of Selective Mutism and how it presents in your child
- Helpful strategies that support their progress
- A request for a brief, low-stress introduction to classroom before the first day
It’s especially important for children with SM to be gradually introduced (or “faded in”) to their teacher before the rest of the students arrive. Planning ahead gives the school time to prepare and ensures your child gets the support they need from the very start.
Final Thoughts
At Caring Cove, we’re here to help you create a personalized summer exposure plan, complete with places and situations where your child can safely and confidently practice being brave. Let’s make this summer a season of growth and confidence for your child.
Five places to practice brave talking this summer in NJ are:
- The boardwalk
- Restaurants
- Ice Cream Store
- The Park
- The Turtle Back Zoo
