Practical Tips for Supporting Children with Anxiety

Anxiety can be a challenging experience for both children and parents, manifesting in behaviors like clinginess, irritability, or even physical symptoms like stomachaches. As a parent, offering consistent support is essential to help your child manage their anxiety and build resilience. Here are nine practical strategies to help your child thrive in the face of anxiety.

  1. Create a Calm, Predictable Environment
    A structured routine helps your child feel safe and secure. For younger children, using visual schedules can provide a sense of clarity and anticipation. Respond to anxiety in a calm, consistent manner, offering reassurance and stability.
  2. Validate Their Feelings and Show Confidence
    Acknowledge your child’s anxiety and let them know it’s okay to feel this way. At the same time, express your confidence in their ability to cope. For example, say, “I know you’re nervous about going to school, but I believe you can handle it.”
  3. Encourage Facing Anxiety, Not Avoidance
    While it’s natural to want to shield your child from uncomfortable situations, avoiding uncomfortable situations can actually make anxiety worse. Instead, encourage gradual exposure to anxiety-provoking situations. For example, if your child fears separating from you, start with small increments of separation. Small steps like this help build their capacity to cope with anxiety.
  4. Set Realistic Goals and Stay Consistent
    Break down larger goals into small, achievable steps. If your child struggles with separation, start with brief separations and celebrate each milestone. Stay consistent, even when resistance arises. Avoiding situations to ease their anxiety can reinforce the fear, so keep progressing with manageable steps—such as visiting the doctor’s office first without an appointment, and later moving to a full appointment.
  5. Model Healthy Coping StrategiesShow your child how to handle anxiety in healthy ways, such as practicing deep breathing, mindfulness, or taking breaks when needed. By modeling these strategies, you teach your child that it’s normal and effective to manage emotions in constructive ways. Your ability to stay calm during tough moments will help make each exposure successful.
  6. Let Them Build Their Own Coping SkillsWhile it’s tempting to solve every problem for your child, part of their growth comes from learning to navigate anxiety. Over-intervening can prevent them from making progress. For instance, if your child is anxious about ordering food, rather than doing it for them, set small goals like practicing ordering in front of you first and then moving toward ordering in front of the waiter. This empowers them to face discomfort and build bravery.
  7. Foster Positive Self-Talk and Celebrate Progress
    Encourage your child to practice self-compassion by teaching them positive self-talk. Remind them of their strength, and celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. Positive reinforcement boosts their confidence and motivates them to continue tackling challenges head-on.
  8. Be Kind to Yourself
    It’s incredibly difficult to watch your child struggle.  Be patient with yourself during this process. Connecting with other parents who face similar challenges can provide valuable support and a sense ofcommunity.
  9. Seek Professional Help if Necessary
    If your child’s anxiety continues or significantly interferes with their daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a highly effective treatment for childhood anxiety and can teach valuable coping skills, as is Parent Child Interaction Therapy for Selective Mutism. Parent groups, such as those based on the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) model, can also offer practical advice and guidance.

Final Thought
Every small step forward is a victory. With your support, your child can develop the tools they need to manage their anxiety and prevent it from taking control of their life.