Ah, summer is finally here. After weeks of rushing from spring concerts to award ceremonies, field days to graduation celebrations, and squeezing in those last minute projects, practices, and end of the year events, the school year has finally come to a close. Whether the summer calendar is packed with camps, vacations, sports, or slower days at home, many families look forward to a season filled with fun, connection, and memory making.

For a brief moment, we exhale. The calendar opens up, the pace slows down, and the possibilities seem endless. The camps are already scheduled, the vacations already planned, and the summer bucket list is filled with all of the experiences we hope will make this season unforgettable.

And then, often sooner than we expect, reality shows up…

“I’m bored.”

“Are we there yet?”

“That’s not fair.”

“This is too hard.”

“I can’t do it. You do it.”

Whether these words are heard during a rainy afternoon at home, from the back seat of the car, in the middle of a camp activity, or while trying something new, most parents know them well. At first glance, these may seem like the ordinary complaints of childhood. And in many ways, they are. But they can also be clues. Clues that your child has encountered one of life’s inevitable discomforts – boredom, waiting, frustration, disappointment, or the challenge of continuing when it would be easier to quit – and isn’t yet convinced they can handle it.

It’s only natural that our first instinct is to help make the discomfort go away. And if we’re being honest, those complaints can be frustrating to hear – especially after all the time, energy, and money we’ve invested in creating a fun summer for our children. So we offer a suggestion, speed things up, step in to help, hand over a device, or find another way to provide some relief. Sometimes, that’s exactly what’s needed. Not every moment needs to become a lesson in resilience. But sometimes, these moments present a different opportunity – the chance to help your child discover they can tolerate discomfort and keep on going.

In my work with children—and in my own experience as a parent—I’ve seen that this ability affects far more than a child’s success on a long car ride or a rainy summer afternoon. It influences how children approach difficult schoolwork, navigate friendships, respond to setbacks, and persevere when things don’t come easily. In many ways, these small moments become practice for the bigger challenges children will face throughout their lives. And summer may be one of the best times to help children practice them. The good news is that we don’t need to create an entirely new summer bucket list to make this happen. Many of the best opportunities to build these skills are already woven into the moments and memories of summer. As you check items off your summer bucket list, look for opportunities to build more than memories. 

Here are a few simple ways to help your child develop patience, perseverance, flexibility, and resilience along the way.  

Don’t Eliminate Every Wait

When you’re waiting in line or sitting in traffic, resist the urge to immediately hand over a device. Sometimes a simple acknowledgement – “I know waiting is hard” – followed by helping your child stay engaged in the moment can be enough. Although waiting may feel uncomfortable, it provides valuable practice in patience, self-control, and delayed gratification.

Leave Room for Boredom

When your child says, “I’m bored,” resist the urge to immediately become the entertainment director. A simple, “I’m confident you’ll think of something,” can encourage creativity and independence. Boredom often creates the space children need to use their imagination, solve problems, and learn how to occupy themselves.

Choose One Thing That Requires Persistence

If your child wants to quit after the first setback, acknowledge that it’s hard and encourage them to stick with it a little longer before deciding to stop. Whether it’s learning a new skill, completing a project, or practicing a sport, children build confidence when they discover they can work through challenges rather than avoid them.

Embrace Plan Changes

When rain cancels the pool day or plans change unexpectedly, make space for the disappointment before shifting focus. A simple, “I know you were really looking forward to that,” validates the feeling without getting stuck in it. Then, model flexibility by focusing on what can happen next rather than dwelling on what was lost. Learning to adapt when things don’t go according to plan is an important part of resilience and helps children cope more effectively with future disappointments.

Praise the Process

Instead of focusing only on outcomes, notice and praise the skills you want to see more of. When children hear that you value patience, effort, flexibility, and perseverance, they are more likely to continue using those skills in the future.

Simple comments like these can go a long way:

  • “You were really patient waiting for your turn.”
  • “I noticed you kept trying even when it was hard.”
  • “You handled that change of plans really well!”

As you enjoy the months ahead, make those summer memories – the beach trips, the ice cream runs, the vacations, the camp adventures, and the family traditions that make this season special. And as you do, don’t overlook the moments in between. The waiting. The boredom. The disappointment. The frustration. The times when things don’t go according to plan. Those moments may not earn an official spot on the summer bucket list, but they just might be some of the most important parts of it.

Summer memories eventually fade. The ability to wait, adapt, persevere, and keep going even when things feel uncomfortable can serve children for a lifetime. That’s the kind of summer bucket list that builds more than memories.