The holidays are a time for joy, connection, and shared meals with family and friends. While the season often comes with the expectation of magical moments, it can also bring stress and anxiety—especially if your child is a picky eater. To help create a more enjoyable holiday experience for everyone, here are some practical tips to support your child:
Set Realistic Expectations
The holidays bring a lot of changes—new schedules, environments, and traditions—which can be overwhelming for little ones. It’s natural for children to need time to adjust. Don’t expect your child to eat everything on the table. Instead, celebrate small wins, like taking one new bite or sitting calmly at the table. These moments of progress are worth specifically praising.
Bring a Food Item Your Child Enjoys
Whenever possible, bring a side dish that your child typically eats. This helps ensure there’s at least one option they feel comfortable with, reducing stress around mealtime. Instead of making a separate meal just for your child, place the side dish on the table for everyone to share. This approach reduces attention on their eating habits and increases their independence in selecting items from the center of the table.
Focus on Fun and Social Connections
Shift the focus away from your child’s plate and onto the positive aspects of the meal, such as connecting with family and having fun. It is helpful when there is less stress around eating. Remind yourself: holiday meals are about more than just food—they’re about creating meaningful memories together.
Model Trying New Foods
Children learn by watching, and your behavior at the table sets an example. Show excitement and curiosity when trying new foods. Describe the flavors, colors, and smells without making judgmental statements. Your enthusiasm can encourage your child to explore new foods at their own pace.
Avoid Comments and Set Boundaries with Family Members
If possible, talk to family members ahead of time and ask them to avoid comments about your child’s eating habits, such as their “picky eating” or the lack of variety on their plate. Drawing attention to these behaviors can inadvertently reinforce them. Setting clear boundaries helps create a more supportive environment.
Validate Your Child Without Rescuing
If your child becomes distressed during the meal, validate their feelings (“I know holiday meals can feel overwhelming”) while also expressing confidence in their ability to manage (“I know you can stay at the table”). Avoid over-accommodating or trying to fix the situation entirely—this helps them build resilience.
Reach Out for Additional Support
If you need additional support or have concerns that your child may have Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), reach out for professional assistance. Our practice offers individual and group therapy, including Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE), developed by Dr. Eli Lebowitz at the Yale Child Study Center. This evidence-based program is designed to help parents manage and reduce their child’s anxiety and related challenges, including ARFID.
The holidays can be a stressful time, but with these strategies, you can help create a calmer, more enjoyable experience for everyone at the table. For personalized guidance or to learn more about our services, don’t hesitate to contact us.
