Existing in today’s world can feel overwhelming, especially as a parent or caregiver. Parenting can demand a lot—a lot of time, energy, patience, and emotional presence. In the midst of caring for others, it’s easy for parents and caregivers to become their own harshest critics. Practicing self-compassion offers a healthier, more sustainable approach.

Self-compassion is a way of relating to ourselves with kindness and an understanding that our struggles are part of being a human, especially in parenting. Self-compassion is about recognizing what we may be feeling  and acknowledging it in the hard moments. It means treating ourselves with the same kindness we would treat a friend or loved one when we are feeling like we fell short. In a world of social media and constant comparisons, these feelings may be more present now than ever, making self-compassion even more important. 

Practicing self-compassion does not require lots of time or energy. In fact, self-compassion is often a tiny mindset shift in the difficult moments. Instead of turning to self-blame (“I’m failing at this”), you acknowledge the difficulty and your effort (“this is hard, and I’m doing my best”), and that others have likely felt the same (“I’m not alone in my suffering”). Self-compassion can also be a short pause when you notice your inner voice becomes critical.

When we can practice self-compassion, it models a powerful lesson for the children in our lives. Children learn how to treat themselves by watching how their parents and caregivers handle mistakes and challenges. When parents and caregivers show themselves kindness in life’s hard moments, they teach their children to do the same. 

Try this: Create your own three-part self-compassion statement. First, acknowledge the difficulty of the situation by saying something like, “This is stressful” or “This is painful.” Next, acknowledge that suffering is part of being human by saying something such as, “Other people feel this way” or “I’m not alone in this.” Finally, add a phrase to show yourself kindness, like “May I be kind to myself,” “May I be patient,” or whatever resonates with you.

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